Farm or Chateau?

Jo at the Chateau, lookin’ fab

Jul 01, 2022

Laretta dear,

I'm sorry you feel under the weather and I do wonder how on earth you could get covid by living in the middle of the woods as you do.

This week has been spent in search of a new home-sitting destination. We have been exploring different opportunities and each came with a different feel. Alex is adamant that we need to listen to our guts, make sure we feel deep inside if one option or the other is the right choice, the right path forward. It's true that this has always been the way to do it.

We have been changing places every year now for seven years. We have experienced some of the most scenic places in the world. From Greek paradises to luxurious holiday homes in Provence with a pool and authentic rural French chestnut forests. Each time we were leaving one place, we were - OK, I was - convinced we can't get any better than this. That any new place we get to will be a downgrade from the one before. That we've reached our peak.

I'm the anxious type. The over-thinker. The fatalist. And each new transition like this is an exercise in loosening the fuck up. More mindfully put, an exercise in letting go. And opening yourself up to the future with all of it's magical possibilities. And it works! I swear to you, every time. Loosening the grip we have on things, letting go of our need for control, is key to things flowing the way they are supposed to.

If the wonderful lady with a cat and a pool nearby wasn't the one, she just wasn't. If the farm with fluffy donkeys (fluffy donkeys!) in the mountains already found a sitter, it wasn't meant to be. The place that is waiting for us is out there and, to get to it, we need to learn to let go of the others.

Floating these options about, the chateau and the farm, I got to thinking about the feel of one compared to the other. How does living in an 18th century building, all manicured and noble, feel like? How does a remote farm in the middle of nowhere feel like?

On the grand scheme of things, they're all just… places, right?

Note here, that we're talking of an average of 6 months to a year commitments. The beauty in the way we live is that we get to experience places for long enough that their spirit can wash over us, but not long enough that your whole being starts getting defined by your belonging to a place or other.

So, what to chose? If the choice was entirely dependent on the characteristics of the place (in that money is of no concern and neither are geographical anchors), what would you chose to live in?

First, I would ask you what do you want to do? There is not much for a poet in Silicon Valley, but the vibrant grit of the people all around there, from coffee shops to sidewalks to venues, is sure to make one eager to pursue dreams of tech and ROI. Likewise an eco-village full of hippies singing kumbaya in the morning holding hands has probably little to offer to the businessman looking to expand, even if his job can all be done online, after the yoga session. The energy of a place has weight, and we have to take it into consideration. It needs to match our internal goals.

In our specific case, that would be: getting into flow, to work with purpose and calm. Or at least it has been, for the last months, and the place we were in has matched that.

So what now?

Granted, one can get into flow both in a farm and a chateau. So lets dig deeper. What "frequency" do we seek? The grandeur of 18th century wealth would certainly wash beneficially over me! So chateau sounds about right. But chateau can also mean squared up hedges, manicured lawn, sprinklers. The "well-kept lawn" is for me a symbol of this same need for control that I want to keep away from.

So how about the farm? Being surrounded by nature and animals is intrinsically rewarding. The close contact with the elements can act as an anchor for my too-intellectual brain. Keep it from drifting into OoohaLand.

But is fifteen sheep too nature-y? Are they going to anchor my intellectual brain down into the muck so much that, by the end of the day, I'll be too tired and "grounded" to even care about "phenomenology of the built environment"? (It's not about the time requirement of taking care of sheep, it's about the mind zone ok?...)

I will, my dear Laretta, leave you with these thoughts, as I have not reached a conclusion. What is the "frequency" you seek these days? Vibrant city, cabin in the woods? Bungalow or manor? What would you chose?

Get well soon,

As always,

Thank you for reading this letter. These words are public so feel free to share them.

Stuff I’ve also been doing:

Ok, so don’t laugh. This is me as Doctor House for the House Doctor project:

I’ve been drawing a lot, especially portraits for Substack publications. Stuff like this that I am pretty happy about:

I’ve been thinking a bit about the idea of a coherent visual identity within substack publications. Get back to me if you have thoughts on that too. (Portrait sources here and here)