We've been discussing about discussions a lot lately. Discussions with your crazy uncle, discussion with people you disagree with. Earthwork Collective is facilitating zoom sessions every Monday 11am ET around climate conversations. If you want to join, here's the link. It's free!
Dear Titus,
We have been shouting at people about climate change and the destruction of biodiversity for so long even we are getting tired of the sound of our own voices. More and more data every day stating to the horrid situation we've gotten ourselves into and how we really really need to do something about it soon. But stating things is different that changing minds. Chris hedges said
“The nature of illusion is that it’s designed to make you feel good. About yourself, about your country, about where you’re going – in that sense it functions like a drug. Those who question that illusion are challenged not so much for the veracity of what they say, but for puncturing those feelings.”
We're attacking the structure of logic that people built for themselves to feel safe and comfortable. So they leap back at you hungry for blood.
So how do you go about convincing people that there is something deeply wrong with our business as usual, that we need to change the systems we've built and that the time is now, not after the next Netflix binge? My guess is, by speaking to the heart, Titus, not the mind. And by being empathetic. Seeing the world from that other person's soul.
That other person, whoever they might be, has hopes, loves, fears and dreams just like every other tiny soul on this tiny blue planet. They want what is best for themselves and their family just like every other father mother, sister, brother and lover. They worry about stuff, daily silly things and also big serious things. In trying to avoid some of those worries they find ways to distract themselves.
They want to belong and be loved and listened to.
They have a tiny health problem that they hide pretty well when people are around. They flaunt their independence . They are proud. The car, the house, the scarf. Being liked makes them feel good.
They avoid talking about what scares them and scroll past the bad news in the evenings because franky it was such a hard day. They tell you they have an opinion on such and such. But honestly there is no space in their mind to munch on any of this. So they adopt the opinion of trusted people close by. And they vote and they buy and they choose this and that and they're being told they should vote that and buy this and choose those and these. Their tiny little souls have no more space to munch on all the choices.
They want to belong, to be accepted, to be loved.
They're being told they are not doing enough. That the Planet is being destroyed and that its definitely their fault. Their greed, their choices, their scarfs are to blame. Sacrifices need to be made. Numbers are being fluttered about , data always more data. Percentages and big numbers that make the brain dizzy. They scroll past the bad news because today was such a hard day. Their body aches and their tiny soul is shriveled.
From all the trying to belong to be accepted, to be loved.
Look , a new season is on.
So forget the data Titus. Take them by the hand, and listen. Ask them about their day, they hopes and loves, their fears and dreams, and find common ground. Start from there.
Love as always,
Jo
Conversation is a great thing. Just today I had three conversations with old friends and it was restoring. You can't change the world with fear and isolation. You've done a great job of communicating acceptance and that is wonderful, Jo. Big hugs, your friend, MM
Who wants to make anyone feel guilty about a new scarf, except someone who gets a secret kick out of feeling morally superior? Sign me up for a radical, guilt-free, low-carbon revolution!